It's the FINAL COUNT DOWN - Holy Crap

So......

Um... HI! Where - how do I start. Flow.... words..... go... any. day. now. (Lori! Help!)

I have so much going on in my life and in about 2.5 weeks I most likely will be bored out my mind. I decided to start this blog for few reasons. My family of four will be moving back to my hometown (poplulation of 900) in less than 3 days. Tomorrow I am putting in my notice at work and I will become a stay at home mom to my two young children and the obedient wife to my husband of 12 years. Yeah right... That part was added in just for him. I giggle every time I re-read the sentence.

This decision we made together has me dealing with many mixed emotions, but mostly excitement. It's been at least 5 years since I worked part time and that was when my baby boy was two. I went to work full time for my own personal reasons (those reasons are to come as we get to know each other.....) and I have always been torn and felt guilty since then that I have been taking away from my children. Financially - we could have made stricter spending decisions and made it work to have me at least just work part time - but we fell into that make more = spend more routine.

Being home to raise them means so much to me. Less chaos, organization, Christ, I even said I would do the bills every month. Before, I just had to work my full time job, deposit my little paycheck and be the shopper for the family. I also did most of the housework and other Mom duties, but now it's a WHOLE NEW BALL GAME. Do I now have to kneel in front of him (the bread winner) and beg for my Starbucks allowance? No Starbucks in Yamhill, so I am a little bit safe. I think the nearest one is at least 8 miles away - it won't be probably a week before I google and mapblast the nearest store. Better yet, I'll text my home girl (literally a hometown girl) Keri - she's more of a coffee freak than me.

My current job is our bread and butter, so we will have to do without the new hot tub, ski boat, husband's Harley, and of course, my new melons. I know it will only be a matter of adjustment to the income level and lack of toys, or who knows, just until I go freak'n lack of caffeine crazy and become the greeter at Walmart just to fill my caffeine needs. HA! My 10yr old daughter just suggested I give pedicures for a living - um, yeah - touch other people's dirty moldy feet. AIN'T THAT CAFFEINE DESPERATE - yet.

Let me state very clearly that I am so appreciative and grateful for this opportunity to be home to raise the kids. I have some VERY CLOSE friends of mine who are are single moms. I can not even begin to imagine how they do this and keep their sanity. MB and TD - you guys are amazing. You are two of the strongest people I know and your girls are very lucky to have you as role models. I know they are as proud of you as I am. Your children clearly reflect what a great job you have done - all three are beautiful and brave girls.

Great - I have myself crying on my very first post. Stop that. Enough... I shall now go down stairs and feed myself with some double chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and fresh strawberries. I'm not sure where your from, but to us Oregon hicks - getting emotional = ice cream.